Saturday, October 27, 2012

Tragedy and Loss of a Baby- What might have been...

Where do I even start?

I believe that everything, good or bad, truly does happen for a reason.  God does have a plan.  This belief helps me to cope with the struggles I face in life.  It was especially reassuring after my miscarriage.  I only hope it reassures my family members that are struggling the most right now.

We were supposed to have a brand new niece and nephew now- not twins, but one on each side of the family, due two days apart.  In August, tragedy struck.  Ryan's brother and his wife lost their daughter.  At a routine check up, no heartbeat was found and labor had to be induced.  She delivered her stillborn baby girl.

Honestly, since then we've been extra nervous about my sister and her baby.  When something so traumatic happens, it makes the fact that stuff really can and does go wrong even more clear.  And what made this whole situation even more freaky were the similarities.  Both couples were expecting their first baby- one due yesterday and one due tomorrow, both live in the same city in Texas, and both purchased a new home and moved during the pregnancy.  It was enough to make everyone a little leery.  

Sadly, it proved to be too similar.  My sister was induced after some bad looking lab tests at her last appointment.  The labor was long and finally a c-section was done.  Their son's heart stopped beating during delivery.  He couldn't be revived.  My sister was under general anesthesia during the delivery and didn't find out what had happened until after the fact.

Words cannot describe my sadness and the depth of my sympathy for both families.  I can tell you, my miscarriage was hard enough.  It was devastating.  But this is entirely different and just so much worse.  Houses full of baby stuff, reminders of the gift they thought they would be bringing home with them.  The physical pain accompanying the delivery.  Instead of happily showing off their brand new babies, they need to explain over and over and over again what happened.  I only hope that they both have and will turn to God for comfort and strength rather than aiming their anger at him and resenting him.  

In 3 weeks, I was supposed to be holding 2 brand new babies.  God is holding them instead.

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers during this tragic and hard time.


  1. Oh my goodness colleen. I'm so sorry for Mike and Holly and their spouses. What a terrible ordeal. I cannot imagine what they are going through. I will keep them in my prayers and my thoughts.

  2. Colleen, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am soooo sorry.

  3. Thank you both for your thoughts and prayers.

  4. Wow, thanks for sharing this post. You're not alone, and your family members are not either. God is holding us when things like this happen, and He most certainly is holding our babies. I also had a miscarriage a little over two years ago, before we got pregnant with our daughter. It was a horrible pain to have to endure--and I seriously can't imagine the even greater pain of carrying your baby for nine months and be ready for their arrival, and have that taken away. It makes me cry just thinking about. Please know that I am praying for you and your family. No one should ever have to go through this alone. xo

    1. There's no doubt that the pain of a miscarriage is tremendously hard but it does help to know that others understand your loss. It is impossible to imagine my sister and her husband's pain right now. I only wish there was something to say that would help. She is so strong and I'm more than impressed by her strength through this tragedy. Thank you for your prayers!

      On a happier note, thank you for following me. :)


I LOVE comments! I hope you'll leave one for me! Have a great day!